Recently, my hotmail account has been flooded with all kinds of spam and junk. And to be quite honest, the majority of it is porn ads. For the record, I'm not a porn person. I never have been and probably never will be. Now, these ads are titled like "Andy, keep it h@ard a$ll night l0ng!!!". My name isn't Andy. And I'm not sure what I'm wanting to keep hard... So I had to set my security setting to max and only get email from people on my list. I still have to check the junk folder in case something slips through and should be in my inbox.. but I was overwhelmed by all these porn emails. Some of them are cleverly titled as "Hey"..

"Who is this person and why are the emailing me?" I ask myself. So I open the email and it's a porn ad. But I noticed that the address it was sent to is not my address. It was sent to angryan@hotmail.com. Simple hotmail error? You would think so. But I also got an email that was sent to dragonmaster8@hotmail.com. I can understand that angryan can be mistaken for angryapplepie.. but dragonmaster8? How does that happen? Anyway.. that's really all I have to say.. I'm just a little annoyed. Stupid people. I should start forwarding them their porn mail and see what happens.

1. Blood clots
2. The miracle of childbirth (in detail)
3. The events leading up to the death of your dinner
4. How long it took your dinner to die
5. Any type of sea creature, and the fact that it swims in its own filth
6. Bowel movements
7. Animal regurgitation
8. Any type of organ or body part
9. Iraq
10. Neutering/Spaying

These are just ten of the topics my extended family talked about over dinner tonight. Seeing as how it is my mom's birthday, everyone got together. I don't mind these little get togethers, really.. but I don't enjoy sitting at the kiddie table when I'm 18.. listening to the adults talk about the above topics.. and hearing the little kids say incredibily stupid things in the background. It's just not my thing.. In fact, over the years, I've developed a fear of seafood.. just hearing them talk about it. They went in to detail of how my grandfather caught the giant fish, how it lived for 12 hours out of water, and how he finally killed it. I didn't go near the fish all night.

Someone fucking STOLE my Katatonia bass tab. What the hell? I posted that tab on Bass Tab Archive ages ago.. now some fuck stole it and put his name on it.. he even left my comments in it. Of course, I did that tab when I was just starting to play.. most of it's way off. But still. Fucking dumbass. Feel free to email him - XxAsILayDyingxX@Hotmail.Com. I'll steal his email since he took my tabs. Seriously, go to BTA and look up my Katatonia tab, it's the only one there. Then go here. Striking resemblance, eh? Fucking prick.

You know what really sucks, though? They're starting construction on I60. That means I have to leave for school at a decent time. In otherwords, I have to wake up when the alarm goes off. No more 'Sleep' button. There's nothing wrong with 60, leave it alone! Spend my tax dollars on other things.. Like stoplights in the Walmart parking lot.

The evidence.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh my, lump in the bed
How I've missed you.

Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.

The dogs and the cat, they missed you too.
Barney's still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.

Here, folks, are the inner-workings of the commander-in-chief of the United States. "Roses are redder"? Redder than what? I'm still trying to figure out the last line. Landing on a carrier is adventurous? Since when? Well.. at least he figured out how to rhyme.. now he just needs to learn how to make it sensible.

..For some reason I have yet to grasp, Mrs. Bush read the poem publicly.

Oh ya, and Arnold is governor of California. ....Only in America.

I stole a bagel. And I ate it. I feel so bad. I even stole the butter. And the blueberry jam? Stole it from IHOP. This will be on my conscience forever. The stolen bagel. I will tell my grandkids how I stole a bagel. And they, looking up to me, will go steal a bagel. And butter. And blueberry jam. Or if they don't like blueberry, another flavor.. IHOP has so many. And we will be one big family of bagel thieves. Roaming the world in search of bagels to steal. I feel so bad. Maybe I should go eat worms.

I'm getting my hair cut again tomorrow. This time they're going to do it right.. maybe I'll post a picture..
I would have to install the stupid kodak thing again... that program is a huge pain in the ass. We'll see how I feel.

It's already Thursday. How awesome is that? I get to watch Alias in three days. Okay, I know, I'm completely obsessed right now, and it's alright because the season just started again.. it's only natural. It seems that everything for school is due tomorrow and I didn't realize it until, like, yesterday. I still have to study for my psychology exam.. blahh. I was driving home on 60, and there was a police car on the hill monitoring the cars. I don't know if you've ever been on 60, but if you haven't, in order to understand the hilarity of this story, you need to know that there are really large, rocky hills on both sides of the interstate. So the little police car was, like, four-wheeling on the hill.. I have no idea how it even got up there. And it was muddy. So why it wasn't rolling down the hill covered in mud is completely beyond me. It's amazing what policemen will do to pull you over.