I stole a bagel. And I ate it. I feel so bad. I even stole the butter. And the blueberry jam? Stole it from IHOP. This will be on my conscience forever. The stolen bagel. I will tell my grandkids how I stole a bagel. And they, looking up to me, will go steal a bagel. And butter. And blueberry jam. Or if they don't like blueberry, another flavor.. IHOP has so many. And we will be one big family of bagel thieves. Roaming the world in search of bagels to steal. I feel so bad. Maybe I should go eat worms.