My mouth hurts. Like, really bad. This new othrodontist guy sucks, and so do his minions. The lady that was 'prepping' me smelled like pickles. Now, pickles smell good before they have been touched by human hands. After that they smell like something your dog might cough up after scrounging through the litter box. Dear God, why couldn't she have breathed through her nose as intended? She worked with her mouth hanging open like a damn caveman. I kept trying to time my breaths.. you know.. like, she breathes all over me while I hold my breath. Then, when she inhales, I exhale and inhale really fast and try to beat her. Well.. it worked, sort of, until she covered my nose with the palm of her hand.. then my goal was just being able to breathe. I started to breathe through my mouth.. as it was my only option.. until, get this.. she said I was fogging up her little mirror. Fogging up her mirror!? What the hell should I do? Stop breathing until you're through with me? Why don't you shove that mirror up your ass and give it a good cleaning.. stupid bitch.. I should have bit her finger off.

Next, she starts to change the wire on my braces (yes, I have braces.. until December). Previous assistants never had a problem with this.. however this one chose to lay her tools directly on my neck instead of the little table beside her. Again, breathing became an issue. I couldn't move them because her arms were in the way.. and I couldn't say anything because her whole fist was in my mouth. So I jerk.. hoping they will fall on the floor.. which they do. "Opsy daisy," she says while picking them up. And where does she put them? Right back on my neck. And then? In my mouth. Can it get any worse, you ask? Oh yes. She ties a little 'thread' to my tooth (I have an impacted tooth) and attaches it to another tooth. She yanks it and asks, "Do you feel a little pressure on that tooth?" Um, she might have been able to answer that question herself if she had seen the tears spewing out of my eyes.. oh, wait.. her elbows were jammed into both sockets. How could she have known? "Okie.. I'll let the doctor come look at you now," she squeals. What does 'the doctor' do? He asks me to bear my teeth and then tells me I can leave. Wow. I'm so glad I paid him five thousand dollars to tell me that. What a guy. I wonder if I can sue.